Golden Wedding Anniversary T-Shirts

'That's where you're wrong. I have bought you something really appropriate for our Golden Wedding anniversary...'

'This is our golden anniversary. Let's invest in gold.'

'This is such an appropriate way for us to celebrate our GOLDEN wedding anniversary."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'Do you think we can cuddle?'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Frog to frog: 'Do you promise to love me warts and all?'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

Couples' therapy

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."