Golden Oldies Enthusiast Pillows

Another Programme Reminding You How Much Better Music Used To Be.

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

Diego Velasquez

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

'It's like listening to the 1950s. You can hear the dentures whistling.'

Mick Jagger at 95.

"I'm so old I can't remember who's the smart one and who's the pretty one."

Old man imagines his younger self dancing with a cane.

Life begins at 60

Oldies Band.

"Why is there a picture of an old man in the bathroom?"

"Let's shake them up and do our version of 'Blowin' in the Wind'."

"Sorry, I double-booked. This wouldn't happen if I had a computer - but they insist we do everything by hand."

'Mom calls this a diary where you write private thoughts no one else can see. What fun is that?'

"I can see by the sudden appearance of little dishes of hard candy in every room, Veronica, that we have finally entered our golden years."

Workers constructing barcodes

'The sixties? Well, you don't sleep as well, can't read anything closer than three feet away and your short-term memory's shot.'

Church in the year 2035.

"I gotta stop, Ralph. . . one of my balls fell off!"

'In my day, it weren't just cold - it were bleak an' all.'

Noah's AARP.

'I throw a strike every time with this ball, but I can only lift it once a night.'

Excess Baggage: Before you laugh at those senior citizen travel groups, just try and keep up with them.

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary - Digitally Mixed - Any drink stirred without the use of a spoon, swizzle stick or any other tool/utensil.

'This is so old-school.'

"Like Bob Dylan said, 'You don't know what you've got til it's gone."

You're listening to K-OLD the golden oldies station. Back in a few … Oldies? You listen to oldies? Of course. Sinatra! Neil Diamond! Metallica. Vanilla Ice. The world is dead to me. Neil who?

'Me and your Grandad have been married for sixty years. But he still whispers sweet nothings into my hearing aid.'

"Yes, it's a golden age-or would be, if we weren't all swarming with lice."

"I was into revolutions. That's one of my 45s and here's a 33 and a 1/3."

"I'm liver spot spice."

Rock'n Rolodex

Gregory Pecks