Gold Medal Aspirant Mugs

The winners podium at a fencing competition.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

A scarecrow goalie

Boy asking for bathing machine to be taken out deep so he can dive in.

"‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation in a Freaking Gymnastics Camp and Nearly Broke My Neck,’ by Delia McConnell."

Medalist wears five gold medals to form olympic rings.

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

“I’ve always wanted to learn to swim, but it’s never been more than thirty minutes since my last meal.”

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

The weight of winning gold.

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"Students always think that they're going to change the world..."

"I'm inspired to try to run a marathon."

Pygmy giant squid

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'