Goblet Collector Pillows

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

Peter Dinklage

"Wine's good for you in moderation, so I named my goblet 'Moderation.'"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

Larry's used art

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Raincloud Umbrella

Duck Hunt

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

Best before 65 million BC.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Bribes for Jabs

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Ice shelfie.

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.