Goals And Aspirations Ponderer Pillows

"My goal as a young man was to make accounting accessible to the masses. Thank god I failed."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

Totalitarian Humour

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Max Weber

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Artist chained to his drawing.

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

Telling Self to Buzz Off

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

Sign pointing to 'hindsight' and 'foresight'

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

"Half full, or half empty? Do you want a positive spin, or a negative spin?"

Caption Contest TK

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

'My dad is pushing me to become an alpha male, but frankly, I'd rather be a poet...'

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

I see

"Never mind how other see you, how do you see yourself?"

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."