Globetrotting Satirist T-Shirts

Physician tending a mummy.

Sock Puppet in Literature

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

'Secondhand smoke.'

"You have arrived at your destination."

"Now on view: Old paintings by dead white men through whenever…"

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

'Don't believe everything you read.'

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

'Welcome to 'Business class'...'

'I'm really a painter and decorator - I only do this to pay the bills.'

"Well, they did say half-board."

"So how does New York stack up against Uzbekistan?"

" 'Perceptual and kinetic art have an intertwined development that cannot be totally disentangled; nevertheless perceptual, optical, or "virtual" movement—which always exists in tension with factual immobility—is an experience of a different order.' "

'If this is a non-stop flight, how do we get off?'

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

Slower than a rubber-tipped arrow,as powerful as a wind-up choo-choo, unable to step over his shoelaces, it's Copyright Free Man!

"And if I move Mercury over here, all the Libras go nuts."

SS Norovirus of the Seas.

"The reason why U.S. time is behind English time is because England was discovered first..."

Acmeville welcomes you to leave your carbon footprint here.

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home form your overseas vacation.

'Reconstructive surgery'

'Your plane's been delayed 20 minutes...or however long it takes airplane glue to dry.'

'At $87,000, I'd say this comes from the artist's I'm-milking-this-for-all-I-can Period.'

London on £50 a meal

"You've got a lot of excess baggage."

"This year let's take our vacation at the sewage treatment plant."

Tail-piece to the Artists' Catalogue.

'Spare the price of roast chicken, seafood or soft cheeses, mate, as this wine would be the perfect accompaniment to them.'