Globetrotter With A Taste For Spice Prints

Try to guess the continent dining...

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

My God, I need to fart.

Harsh Mellows.

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

"I want to set the world record for eating the most empanadas ever!"

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

'Since you're wearing cargo pants, everything in your pockets is considered cargo and subject to a tariff.'

Travel Scenes

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

Australasia.

The Cuban government studies the possiblity of allowing residents to travel outside the country as tourists.

What the globe in Christopher Columbus' classroom must have looked like.

"Why are you cancelling your trip to Switzerland?"

In the wake of tourism...

'And this is the small print in your travel insurance...'

'Which vacation destination do you prefer: a country where Americans are feared, idolized, envied or hated? Or shall we just let that be a surpriese?'

Beefsteak travel, hamburger budget.

'A cruise by air, sir, is called a 'tour'.'

'Luggage is luggage, sir -- just try to be happy with what you've got.'

"I thought that we were going to eat something exotic tonight - not just a traditional English meal."

"I'm looking for a holiday destination that's reasonably open minded about contagion."

Man Puts His Seatbelt on for a Literary Journey

London on £50 a meal

'We had an all-inclusive-holiday. Bad weather, lousy food, arrogant waiters, crappy hotel and outrageous prices - all that was included.'

'Yes, our cruises allow travellers to choose from several viruses...I mean, ports of call.'

Failed Medical Tourism

The less popular burning tongue festival

Dorothy instantly regretted asking Barry if he had enjoyed her special 'Birthday Curry' recipe