Giggle Gourmet Mugs

"There are no animal products in our dishes, but since the meals are prepared by animals, you may find some stray hairs."

'Waiter there is a candlestick in my soup!'

Why cats don't cook. (sign on wall reads: Federal Law requires all employees to wear hairnets)

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

Zombie standup

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

'The girls must be feeling better...'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

"I can't see a blinkin' thing."

"I might just get a pie."

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"You never laugh at my jokes... "