Getting Life Insurance T-Shirts

Life insurance company

"Why's your life policy for 97 year olds so cheap?"

"I just..."

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

"What you have is very expensive to treat. Would you like me to diagnose you with something affordable?"

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

"Luckily, my insurance covers roadside assistance."

"Richard, Mr. Chenolock, the insurance man, is here to determine your life expectancy."

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

"What were you doing talking to our insurance agent today?"

'You paid the insurance bill, right?'

"Do you further promise to love, honor and obey this insurance company and to disclose to it any pre-existing medical conditions?"

"Thank God we're insured"

"Robyn Dixon got remarried!!!"

'The good news is your HMO has waived your co-payment on the autopsy.'

"I have an awful toothache. But I sort of forgot to re-sig up for Obamacare. SO now I have to wait till next year to get treated."

'Our insurance company doesn't cover saucer theft if it's left unlocked, so lock it even through this seems like a safe neighborhood.'

"Before I can write your insurance policy, this place has to be made more accessible. I almost fell in your moat!"

'Welcome! Do you have any questions? Concerns? Pre-existing conditions?'

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

"No, Mrs. Johnson, in life insurance we don't have a policy that provides for the 'full replacement value' for your husband."

'Whoa, doc! Are those expensive, brand-name leeches? My insurance only covers generics.'

"I told my wife this place didn't offer full medical benefits!"

"...I....I'm a... life insurances...erm...salesman..."

"My concussion caused that out-of-body feeling, but my insurance caused that out-of-pocket experience."

'I got all woozy reading the restrictions in my health insurance contract!'

"We offer a comprehensive benefits plan that covers everything from minor cuts to nasty scrapes."

"Your HMO won't cover this so I'm going to rub some salt in these wounds."

'I don't want a piece of the rock. I want money.'