Getting A New Insurance Policy T-Shirts

"Luckily, my insurance covers roadside assistance."

"I just..."

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

"What you have is very expensive to treat. Would you like me to diagnose you with something affordable?"

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

"Richard, Mr. Chenolock, the insurance man, is here to determine your life expectancy."

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

"I'm prepared to cover any out-of-pocket costs, Dr. Williter."

'Just as I thought...you can't collect on the life insurance by boring me to death.'

'Don't worry, I'll do all I can for you until your health insurance cancels you for getting sick.'

'Your insurance only covered the removal of the damaged organ...you'll have to put the transplant in yourself.'

Misread medical policy.

'You paid the insurance bill, right?'

"Do you further promise to love, honor and obey this insurance company and to disclose to it any pre-existing medical conditions?"

"Robyn Dixon got remarried!!!"

Dr Obama

"Thank God we're insured"

'The good news is your HMO has waived your co-payment on the autopsy.'

"Before I can write your insurance policy, this place has to be made more accessible. I almost fell in your moat!"

'Our insurance company doesn't cover saucer theft if it's left unlocked, so lock it even through this seems like a safe neighborhood.'

'Welcome! Do you have any questions? Concerns? Pre-existing conditions?'

'Which is worse - no pre-existing condition coverage. . . or no health insurance?'

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

'My Insurance won't pay for an MRI.'

Life insurance company

"My concussion caused that out-of-body feeling, but my insurance caused that out-of-pocket experience."

'I got all woozy reading the restrictions in my health insurance contract!'