Getting Into A Relationship Pillows

'I don't know -- are you sure Adam is mature enough for a relationship?'

'This is Mr. Right? - In THAT tie?'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

Sexual chemistry set

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

'You have her home by midnight, now!'

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'Sorry, but my car is a hybrid and I wouldn't accept anything less in a husband.'

"Oh isn't that your squeeze slithering this way?"

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

"Boy, I'd love to meet you sometime off leash."

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

'I'm falling in love with Eddie... he has the most beautiful biggest organ ever!'

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

Lance, do I make you want to be a better man? Let me put it this way, Gloria: you definitely make me want to SEEM to be a better man.

So … how did you two meet?

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

Acme Dating Service

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

"You're not married, are you, sweetie?"