Getting A Pet T-Shirts

"I do like it here, but I'm ready for my own apartment."

'And don't be Mr. Antisocial. At least make an effort to sniff some of the other guests.'

Toucan in bird cage.

"You're the on who said we couldn't afford to send him to obedience classes!"

"As I get older - I find marking my territory gets more difficult."

'Sometimes, I get the feeling you don't like the dog very much.'

"Have you ever thought of changing careers?"

"I sure hope Mom let's us keep him. He looks like he could eat a lot of homework."

'I'm making out my will...you want my fake diamond-studded collar?'

"I got a dog as a replacement child."

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

'I think the dog wants in, Robert.'

Lack self confidence? Get some pets and look down on them.

'From now on, Bob, you'll have to fetch your own newspaper and slippers. I'm ready for a career change.'

"We need one with three zones."

"I'm telling ya, muggles... when it comes to emotional-support pets... you're numero uno!"

Husband's worst pet - Easily Trained to nag.

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

'Dexter got a golden parachute, Nolan got a golden handshake and I got a golden retriever.'

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

Young Pups In A Chat Room.

Jumping Dogs

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

"And he's got to be cute, a good listener, loving, selfless, loyal, and faithful."

'Rex here, is just like one of the family.'

"Bootsy has welcomed the vacuum robot into our home in her own unique way."

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

"... Yes, I suppose he is just like one of the family. On Dave's side, of course."

Man's Best Friend - Man's Worst Friend - Man's Only Friend

Lost and loving it!

"A wonderful cat is coming into your life."

"You know, if it weren't for Penny, we'd never find time like this to connect."

"Well, you're looking 'trim' today."

"We should get a cat."

"Bad news - you're going to be neutered."