Getting A Job Mugs

"Lives in the basement and has yet to bring home a dime."

'Aah! I didn't see you come in Mr. Brown - well done! You can start Monday!'

"Mom, I got the job!"

'Heyyy, you're hired! Want a peanut?'

Son hacks into computer to get a job

"Okay! I know! I'm proud that you have a job and you've set a goal to spend all your money...on a nice lowrider car."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

The Rubber Ball Company

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

Good Luck!

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

How are you at decision making?

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'