Get-togethers T-Shirts

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."

'I'm sending out thank-you cards for our party; some thanks for coming and some thanks for leaving.'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

Can I give you a slice of the action?

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

The prying mantis,

The devil you know and his plus one

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

A child interrupting family prayers

"You two seem oddly suited."

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

Glyndebourne

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

When I said, "Let the good times roll," I didn't mean to let go of the keg.

Playing cards.

"You're doing fine - don't watch your feet."

"There! Isn't sipping my Tropical Surprise more fun than arguing over some ancient sports trivia?"

Midwest Winter Items.

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

"I rushed here from surgery. I didn't have time to get into costume."