Group Gathering T-Shirts

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Hi-yah!"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

The devil you know and his plus one

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

The prying mantis,

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"