Germanophile Humorist Pillows

Angst - Zeitgeist.

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

Friedrich Schiller

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

"....and hold the garlic."

'Dropping the Pilot'-the Fall of Bismarck

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'Your resume is certainly impressive, Mr. Simmons, but do you have any on the job experience?'

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

"Are you aware that in your submission you misspelled 'deer editer'?"

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

'Which one do you think Dracula's in?'

'And so, Ladies and Germs, I conclude that we must promote homeopathy! This may be our best chance to wipe out the human race since the glory days of the Black Plague.'

"I've never trusted cows."

'I've become resistant to antibiotics, but what I dread is a shot of whisky in a cup of hot tea.'

Dracula Waits For the Bus With A Coffin Briefcase.

"You boys might as well dig in - this could smolder for days."

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed