Germ Jesters Mugs

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

The Return of the Germ

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

The Man of La Mancha,and his sidekick, the Man of La Muncha.

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

'Hoopla!'

Watering a plant in the rain.

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

Looking for a cool cat.

"Ruddy Japanese knotweed gets EVERYWHERE."

Stationary mountain bike.

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."

The Apis Dance Studio

Turkey Hostage.

Coast to coast walk.

Banana Arcade Game

'Cheetah?... Boy?...Simba?... Jane?....'

Gloria, what's a good remedy for garlicky hands? Rigatoni gloves.

"I vary her diet with a wide variety of pasta shapes."

It quickly became apparent to Daryl that his remote controlled lawn mower was not a good idea.

Clown Gardening

Attend to wall climbers...clear out exhausted annuals.

'Ms. Marbley, bring in your pad and a pair of pruning shears.'

Hoarder Collie

Bus Stop - 49 Bus Reputed Sightings.