Germ Humorists T-Shirts

"I picked this up from the humans. . . two metre gap. . . gives us a much wider spread."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

Newton discovers surrealism

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."

Lie detector, "It's a goddam liar bird all right."

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

Angst - Zeitgeist.

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

'And so, Ladies and Germs, I conclude that we must promote homeopathy! This may be our best chance to wipe out the human race since the glory days of the Black Plague.'

"The most common adverse vaccine reaction after the first dose is trying to get the second dose."

Annuals, Perennials, Centennials, Millennials

'I've become resistant to antibiotics, but what I dread is a shot of whisky in a cup of hot tea.'

Robot porn.

'I sculpt what I see, Miss Delsey.'

Eggs That Were Anagarms In Past Lives -'Unscramble Me'.

"Relax kid, you're going to be for awhile."

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

"Remember always power up you machine clockwise"

Sign on shop: Headquarters: 'Business People for Peace'. Man walks out of shop wearing t-shirt with slogan 'Make money not war'.

"This next arrow should shake things up a bit!"