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'Sorry, I don't do bailouts.'

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

"It's okay mate, I only need the cork from your bottle."

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

"I cant do that! Who's gonna deliver the mail?!"

'It's just that when I said 'I wish I was a babe magnet'...'

Rich man rubbing oil lamp to get ticker tape.

Genie being forced to walk Aladdin's dog

'We're cutting back, so I can only grant you a whim'

'Okay, so that's fire and the wheel. Now, what do you want for your final wish?'

'World peace? �--What's your second choice?'

'Sorry, but I can't make any promises on any wishes that have anything to do with the government.'

"I'd like a purple unicorn. . . OK. . . I wish politicians would act like adults."

"You have one more wish. You asked for free, overnight shipping on your first wish, remember?"

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

Storm in a magic lamp.

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

"Then one day I thought, what the hell?! Maybe it's time I started granting a few of my own wishes."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

Genie Barbecue.

"Only three wishes, eh? Well, let's see what my lawyer has to say about that!"

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"But I don't have any wishes related to food or squirrels."

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'