Genetics Enthusiasts Prints

"You'd tell me if I was genetically modified?"

'I don't know what all the fuss is about, all my babies have been designer.'

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

'Look dear, he's got your tag.'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'At present, my son and I are extremely interested in genetics and heredity.'

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

'Well, look who has stock in Genomes-R-Us.'

Ideas that failed: Goliath Goats.

'Oh dear. My son's an evolutionary throw forward.'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"Actually, I find his murky past rather attractive."

'We've created a teenager!'

'The future of medicine' "It's genomics." "I'd say proteins." "Same as always: economics."

'Darling, we were made for each other.'

'Now that we've learned to talk, we can have FOCUS GROUPS!'

DNA Xmas.

Genetic Manipulation

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

"Crap. I overslept."

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

'You folks just sit right there and I'll go kill some hors d'oeuvres.'

Baldness Facts

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

'You may share 85% of your genetic material with him, but I share 5% tops.'