Genetic Modification Fan Pillows

The giant liberal carrot I created cannot be stopped. We can't kill it. That would be like killing me. House of Java.net Cybercafe. But I've thought of a way to neutralize it. Through a connection at Fox News, I got hold of some Sean Hannity DNA. Dear god. Trump lies. Carrots are weak on defense!

"I'm going to be rich, famous, and irresistible to the opposite sex any day now, Randy." "I think you've had one too many hot cocas, little buddy." "No, really. I've written a note for my descendants and buried it in a time capsule in my backyard." "Once they read it, they'll time-travel back to the 20th century and genetically engineer my embryonic self." "They'll bestow me with superhuman charisma, epic good looks, and money-management skills." "You're forgetting that to have descend

"Hansen, you're a genius! A chicken steak!"

'I hope they don't isolate me. They'll never believe I'm harmless.'

'Gerald's genes have been crossed with a chameleon, haven't they, Gerald? Gerald?'

'The circle is complete!'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'Everybody has to change to compete.'

Time Machine Collision

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

"You've changed."

Homo Zapiens

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

"The court granted me a new identity!"

Game In A Can.

Drusilla realised how different her boss looked now they met after hours.

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

'You should have seen me when I was a caterpillar!'

'It's so much better since business became computerized -- it was so hard to blame things on typewriters.'

"It appears you have a virus."

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

The Beginning of Nostalgia

Evolution

"And then, having shaped up, he shipped out."

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

'The stand-up geneticist'

The Woman Who Could Talk to Engineers...

'It's your mother. You're being recalled for the correction of a minor defect.'

When beavers dream.