Generational Gap Ponderers Pillows

'They're not reliable.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"We added it just for the millenials."

"How come they remember every word of any pop song but not a single line of poetry?"

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

"When I was your age, all we had to know was how to wind."

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"We invented your hair."

"A raise?! In my day, if we needed more money, we just borrowed it."

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

"Grandpa, what was it like living off the grid for most of your life?"

'I checked that birds and bees stuff on the internet, Dad -- it says you're full of baloney.'

"It's bad enough my kids know more about computers than me, but I'm not taking this from YOU!"

"That's lovely, dear. Give me a heads-up when manners and intelligence get a little closer."

"I'm working on texting my memoirs."

"Don't pay attention to my granddad. He's an old pilot and always calls us 'taildraggers.'"

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

"All of a sudden, everyone seems younger than I am."

"I don't know cursive and you don't know emoji. I'd say that makes us even."

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

"Please—no technology questions!"

The Crummiest Generation

"K-pop... is that entertainment, a political movement, or a breakfast cereal?"

Social Media Explained By Ginny Root 3rd Grade.

'That's the trouble with the older generation...they're too intolerant.'

"You're a veteran, right grandpa? Maybe you can help me with my school report...what was General George Washington really like?"