Generation Gap Pillows

'Look at those dang fool teenagers, wearin' their pants hangin' down low like a coupla idiots!'

"I'm your hip replacement."

"And I will tell you something else, this constant drumbeat for change and accountability and and and . . . nose rings . . . is really intimidating."

"Well, in my day kiddo, we were well-behaved puppies: we were not sent to puppy school!"

Ma Rogers

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"You shoved a candy cane in my ear!"

"I think my parents are pretty old. They remember a time before 'clumping' cat litter."

'What's with the nose ring sonny? Wanna be a Bullfrog?'

"It's pretty quiet around here. Didn't Baldo invite some friends over? When I was young, my buddies and I drove my father crazy with all the noise and running around!"

"Four dollars for a cup of coffee?! What silly person would spend money like that? Que crazy!"

"Is this your latest response to every problem...'Let the Millennials figure it out'?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Kritik's Korner

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

"We added it just for the millenials."

Harold was pleased to discover that his grandson was also a big tool fan.

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"When I was your age, all we had to know was how to wind."

"How come they remember every word of any pop song but not a single line of poetry?"

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

Lemonade/Prune-aid

'I suppose you think you're better than your parents, mister I-Can-Walk-Upright?!'

"We invented your hair."

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

"A raise?! In my day, if we needed more money, we just borrowed it."

T-shirts read: 'Rock against racism' ; 'Classical against antisocial behaviour'

"Grandpa, what was it like living off the grid for most of your life?"