Generation Gap Gurus Pillows

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"I think my parents are pretty old. They remember a time before 'clumping' cat litter."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

"We added it just for the millenials."

"Date of birth?" "1989." "In 1989 I couldn't make ice... still can't." "Good lord, she could be my daughter! I'm so #!@* old." "That's the year my wife left me. Now I have a cold and I'm depressed!"

"How come they remember every word of any pop song but not a single line of poetry?"

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

"When I was your age, all we had to know was how to wind."

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"I'm your hip replacement."

"Someday when you have children of your own, you’ll understand why I dress you like ‘an idiot.’"

"We invented your hair."

"A raise?! In my day, if we needed more money, we just borrowed it."

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

"Grandpa, what was it like living off the grid for most of your life?"

"It's the Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

'They're not reliable.'

"Google says it's some form of ancient timing device."

"Dad, how does the outdoors work without batteries?"

"It's bad enough my kids know more about computers than me, but I'm not taking this from YOU!"

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

"That's lovely, dear. Give me a heads-up when manners and intelligence get a little closer."

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

"Don't pay attention to my granddad. He's an old pilot and always calls us 'taildraggers.'"

"I'm working on texting my memoirs."