Generation Gap Bridger Gifts

"For Father's Day, I'm giving my dad an hour of free tech support."

I have laryngitis. I lost my voice screaming because the internet generation is so self-centered. You write self-centered blogs, internet sites, and now you tweet. You are navel-gazing narcissists. Aaaah. Getting yelled at by a sign. Tap tap tap tap.

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

Kritik's Korner

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"I think my parents are pretty old. They remember a time before 'clumping' cat litter."

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

"We added it just for the millenials."

Harold was pleased to discover that his grandson was also a big tool fan.

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"So this is what you do all day on your cell phone? Punching in letters...one by one...sending dirty messages to your friends?"

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

"When I was your age, all we had to know was how to wind."

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

'Unfortunately our definition of 'job' differs.'

"I'm your hip replacement."

"We invented your hair."

Lemonade/Prune-aid

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

"A raise?! In my day, if we needed more money, we just borrowed it."

"Grandpa, what was it like living off the grid for most of your life?"

T-shirts read: 'Rock against racism' ; 'Classical against antisocial behaviour'

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

"That's lovely, dear. Give me a heads-up when manners and intelligence get a little closer."

"I'm working on texting my memoirs."