Gender Equality Consultant Gifts

"So how do you like working for a woman boss?"

"We don't have maternity leave, but our health plan covers contraceptives."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

All Hail the Matriarchy

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

"And I'm sure no one will mind if we fold a few clothes while we talk."

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."

'...she still can't manage a decent sports metaphor.'

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

"Anybody got any thoughts on how we should acknowledge International Women's Day?"

'I don't get it, Victoria. . . why are men in control of everything?'

Men Win Again

"You're not a real fan. You're just dressed up like a slut for attention."

'When you look at me do you see a woman or a senior partner?'

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

"We don't pay you less because you're a woman.. we pay you less because we're men!"

'You want a nurse present? -- Are you discriminating against me because of my gender?'

'Yes, it has the organs of both sexes. . . a penis and a brain.'

"It's only fair. He has a man cave."

"It's all significantly less impressive once you realize these guys had free child care."

"No, Mr. Kurlander, I don't have, nor have I ever had, a recipe for cranberry muffins."

Tucker Ratings Gold

"You'll go far...you think like a man..."

'A woman obsetrician! What do women know about that sort of thing?'

"But we've been interviewing like this for years...why would we want to change now?"

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

'I don't want just a bunch of 'yes' men around here! Hire a couple of women!'

Crossing USA Mexico Border