Gender Equality Ally Gifts

"You're not a real fan. You're just dressed up like a slut for attention."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"We've made great progress!"

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

“They tease us for going together, but little do they know this is where we gather to plan the dismantling of the patriarchy.”

The Working Woman's Magazine

"My making two million a year, …. It doesn't make me seem 'Mannish', does it?"

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

All Hail the Matriarchy

Glass Ceiling

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

"All those training sessions, seminars and studies... ... to reinforce the reality of womens equality and extirpate any remnants of a deluded belief in male superiority When all we had to do was show them Rachel Daly doing a bicycle kick GASP!"

'Sex discrimination? What are you talking about?'

"And I'm sure no one will mind if we fold a few clothes while we talk."

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."

'...she still can't manage a decent sports metaphor.'

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

"Anybody got any thoughts on how we should acknowledge International Women's Day?"

"This woman's lib is getting beyond a joke!"

'I don't get it, Victoria. . . why are men in control of everything?'

Men Win Again

'When you look at me do you see a woman or a senior partner?'

'Where were the wise women?'

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

"Congrats! It's a health future unequally paid sexual harassment victim!"

"We don't pay you less because you're a woman.. we pay you less because we're men!"

'You may be the best man for the job, but I have a dozen women who are better qualified.'

"On a show of hands, do we let Miss Brimshaw into our den."