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'Check out what I invented! Looks like we're even now!'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

Men explained.

'Shortly you will be running for your life. I wouldn't order dessert.'

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

Complaints departement for men and women.

"Think about it: Toby's the only ram here, so we have to be half brothers!"

You never caw.

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

The Three Wise Women

"I know it's only a social construct but shall we see if we can get it big and hard?"

"The last time he came out to play with you, you reassigned his gender."

'Women pick things up! We take action! We can't stand to see a ball just sitting there in our court collecting dust!'

'I thought working for a congresswoman would be different than working for congressmen.'

"Thanks to our wonderful research team we can now offer you gender choice at birth and puberty."

Dudaism

'Your tests show you to be drug free ... and three months pregnant.'

Failed first careers: Sigmund Freud. Vienna Advertising Agency. We're going to have to let you go, Freud. You just don't know what women want.

'I'll never understand women.' - 'Even if you did you wouldn't believe it.'

Every wife's dream conversation.

'What would the world be like without women? Well there'd be no people for a start.'

That's it young lady! You're grounded!

You can watch him tonight - I'm going on a gatherers night out.

"It's not winning I enjoy so much. It's beating you."

"If you won't let me pay for dinner, at least let me pay for sex later."

'Are you alright?' - 'Yes.' - 'I want a bath. What are you doing in there?' - 'Multi-tasking.'

The Enigma on Your Sofa: A Stranger, or Just Strange?

'Miss Simpkins, I smell money. How about going on the game?'

Hey, you two, stop playing games with your sibling!

I'm in a quandary, Ann. On the one hand, I was hoping to have "the most fun you can have without laughing" tonight. On the other hand, this being a comic strip, going for laughs is the whole idea. What would Beetle Bailey do?

I know it says 'All you can eat', but that only applies to what's on the menu!

'I'll grant you all men are reptiles, but not all reptiles are men.'

'How can we explain this?'

Suddenly the bar went silent. Somebody coughed.

"Men have intuition, too -- they just have to learn to distrust it."