Gel Enthusiast Pillows

'I'm experimenting with hair-gel...'

Diamond outfits

Biceps, muscles and brawn

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

Kid blowing bubble takes off.

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

Desert Dermatologist

Elton John

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

Of all the gin joints in the world, you are here.

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

"The boss loves the positive feedback he gets every time he says something."

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'This new 'flexible working' scheme is a great idea. . . It helps us to identify staff who have a more balanced life. People who have interests outside of the office.'

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

Shirley MacLaine caricature

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"She won't be long, I'm just putting her face on."

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

"How come your skin is sooooo smooth?"

'Got anything with a little less musk?'