Geeky Strategist Gifts

"According to my calculations, the traditional migration route is not optimal. My new route can halve the travel time..."

Larry's used art

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'See here, Flanigan ? what's this I hear about you going over my head to the computer?'

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"Take me to your thought leader."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

"It seems our precious three year old hacked into the White House with his playtime computer!"

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

What's your exit strategy?

'Technology is wonderful. It makes your people so much easier to use.'

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

"My first novel is a prequel of a sequel, it's about time travel."

Grim Reaper and the 7th

"I'm in advertising. . ."

Rock. Paper. Job-killing scissors.

"Holding an open contest on social media and announcing the winner may not be the most secure way to pick a password."

Ineffective conducting.

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

'We would like to visit with you about the possibility of expanding our franchise...'

Cat Trap,

Bear bends hunter's guns.

'Yes, that is me. We're a very new company.'