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Justice 4 Ron

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Lady Justice.

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'We've had an application from No.10 Downing Street. . . they need to extend their cabinet room.'

"If the 'Disorderly Conduct' charge is dropped, your Honor, my client will plead guilty to the lesser charge of 'Zany Antics'."

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

"If they shorten political campaigns, what will we do for entertainment?"

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

Gondola safety life jacket demonstration.

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

'If you don't stay seated, I'll have to use my pop-up blocker.'

"Your Honor, all this pretrial publicity has made my client look fat."

"Overruled!"

Judge knocking at 'audits' so that 'CPA's' lose their money

'I predict they go with an insanity defense.'

Must you be so judgmental?

"I-800-DOGYLAW"

'I realize that hearsay evidence isn't admissible by the court, Your Honor, but you're going to love this!'

"Now tell me your legal problem very slowly, with every detail, no matter how irrelevant. Feel free to digress, babble and, especially, backtrack."