Gavel Goofball Mugs

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Honestly sometimes I'd like to pretend I don't know you!"

Shoot For The Moon

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

The Deaths take a selfie.

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

'Irwin! Get your elbow up!...Good! Now twirl the bat, lift your foot up, put one hand on top of your helmet, stick out your tongue and hop like a rabbit.'

'I think we'll have to call the fire brigade again.'

I'm with stupid.

'Remember when we used to call them Wallflowers? The new term is Mingleberries.'

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

'...Plus six months for breaking my little hammer!'

(Can't) Count Dracula.

'Now say cheese,no,not YOU!'

Must I also sing and dance?

'I hope you replace your divots!'

"Ewww....Banana slug hammocks really cross me out."

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

'Well, Frank, I've told you a hundred times to tighten your neck bolts, but do you ever listen? Nooo!'

'Do not even think about it, Ron!'

Turtle bumps turtle: 'WHIPLASH!'

"A backflip with a full twist, handspray pike and a three quarter roll will do nothing to further your cause Mr Laney."

'We had this one dyed especially for you, Your Honor.'

"Today's my dad's 90th birthday. I got him a cake. I used 90 candles to spell out 'Happy 90th Birthday from your goof-up son who can't ever do anything right. I organized the whole party. And what do you think of me, Pop?'...The candles flared up and burned his house down..."