Gastropubs Pillows

"So, that was a gastropub...well, the were right about the gas part!"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'A cheeky red?'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

La Table

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Today's special... donuts.

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"