Gastronomy Geeks T-Shirts

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

'My escargot has escargone.'

Come dine with me!

Counting ribs

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

La Table

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

View to the Future

Try to guess the continent dining...

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Important Food Groups

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"This is our soft opening."

Before/After

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

The Main Types of Cheese