Gas Station Owner Pillows

ATM at gas station.

'Water into wine is certainly impressive. D'you do water into petrol?'

US moonshine liquor is now ethanol.

'Regular' and 'Fabulous' Gasoline

Record Oil Prices

Antiques.

Oil man gets oil for his car directly from oil well.

Addiction: high gas prices.

Gas 39.9 Gal Reg. April Fuel!

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'

The Gas Price Race

Fill In The Blanks.

'Gas prices are up? I hadn't noticed...'

"Yes, I can defend you against that lawsuit for an unsanitary restroom, but we will have to find a jury of your pee-ers."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Cut Price

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

Important Food Groups

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

US Energy Needs.

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

Oil shock.

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

'Flowers? From a garage? You're a darling!'

Psychic Car Mechanics.

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'Uh-oh.'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."