Garlic Appreciation Pillows

'Are you allergic to garlic.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Menu Dating

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

"I might just get a pie."

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

Back in 5 minutes!

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

WHACK!

Am Awful Crammer.

Old Spice

Cheese Pile

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

Thermidor Dali

"I'm learning to appreciate the simple things in life."

Slow food restaurant

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

"I want to see it as art, but I keep asking myself 'is it really grocery?'"

"...an excellent fighting lager with just a hint of park bench."

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

'I like the look of the sherry trifle.'

"Would you care to see a YouTube of your chicken when it was free ranging?"

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."