Garlic Appreciation Pillows

'Are you allergic to garlic.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Menu Dating

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

Back in 5 minutes!

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

"I might just get a pie."

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

Am Awful Crammer.

WHACK!

Cheese Pile

Old Spice

Thermidor Dali

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"I'm learning to appreciate the simple things in life."

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

Slow food restaurant

"I want to see it as art, but I keep asking myself 'is it really grocery?'"

"...an excellent fighting lager with just a hint of park bench."

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

'I like the look of the sherry trifle.'

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."