Gardening Humor Pillows

"You know you've been acting really stuck-up ever. Since you got that stand."

Plant rose trees in a sunny part of the garden.

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'I ask you, Larry the Landscaper, did you ever, under any circumstances, promise anyone a rose garden?'

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

God builds the first lawn mower.

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

Crazy paving company.

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

'Manure, you say? We always put custard on our rhubarb!'

'Look what my son gave me!'

Avoid Constant Borrowing

'Dear, I think the plants need watering.'

It's an unwritten law. Guys can like only two kinds of flowering plants - a cactus with thorns or that one that eats flies.