Gardener T-Shirts

"When it comes to blowing leaves around uselessly and creating an insane amount of noise, this model can't be beat."

'I'm saving up for a hedge.'

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

Autumn Leaves

The Phantom Of The Garden

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

Sundials showing different timnezones.

Tree collapse...

Organic Produce

'You just put me away last fall with no winterization and not even a thank you and you expect to start right up this spring. Well, we'll see about that!'

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

'Oh gross, manure.'

Talk to your plants. But if you really want results, bring in a motivational speaker.

The only thing Fred hated more than weeds were weeds that made puns.

'I ordered an IV, not an ivy.'

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

Accident waiting to happen - Man about to cut though both tree and friend.

A gardener blowing autumn leaves off a tree - into a neighbour's garden.

'I,m trying something new...giraffe manure!'

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

'We've had complaints about your sensory garden for the blind.'

'Always plant trees so that the prevailing wind blows the autumn leaves next door'

"Is this one a flower or a weed?I'm not sure whether to admire it or not."

"Lawn care has been good to us, Ed."

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

Trying to use a snake as a hose.

Flower steals water during a drought.

Danny reminds his dad that he had forgotten to pay him for raking the yard.

Weed Wackers

'Oh, not much. Well, still dabbling a bit in commodities futures.'

'Please tell me you didn't pay for that stuff.'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'So, did you use compost or chemical fertilizers?'