Garden Gumshoe Mugs

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

The Busy Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"Garden variety allergies."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Yard Sale

Couple using thier new garden hose in the rain

Beginning Yarder.

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

Mystery of the Poets

Show and Tell.

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Balding gnomes

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'Where are you going?'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'That chap really knows his onions!'

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."