Gallows Humor Fans Mugs

"What a pro."

"And here I thought you’d just moved to Australia."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'A cheeky red?'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"Here we are."

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

"We have a favor to ask."

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"Oh, don't mind me..I'm a little early. Just go about your business...pretend I'm not here.

"Well, if you don’t want to discuss exposure, drowning or sharks, what do you want to talk about?"

"Just between you and me, he was a road kill."

"So laughter isn't the best medicine..."

"A modest proposal: Why not arm the Trump administration for their own safety?"

"Wait, what?"

'This had better be important, I'm in the middle of a conference call!'

'Sorry, we're shorthanded - please pass over the scalpel...'

"We need 6 last meals over at table 9."

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

'If I hear one more person say 'Just a little of the top' I'm going to lose it!'

Finish Line

"There, there. Try to remember how much he annoyed you."