Gallery Connoisseur Behind Bars Gifts

Exhibition for Prisoners

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

HELLth Food Sprouts

Art Gallery.

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

Woodworms at a sculpture gallery.

Private Viewing

The perfectionist.

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"This piece resembles my subconscious desire to draw spirals on a big piece of paper."

"That must be the artist over there."

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Prisoner still life painting.

Please do not touch the art. Please touch the artist.

'You're no Pollock.'

Decaying corpse

"Your painting is both original and good. Sadly, the good bits are not original and the original bits are not good."

"It's a great work!"

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

The less one gets it, the more it's art.

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

Francoise Gilot

Understanding art.

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

"While, yes, I could produce those strokes, I lack the context to position an image in the ongoing conversation of contemporary art as enclosed by capitalist forces."

"That's an early Vermeer, very early."

Rodin's Irish Judge

Tracey Emin's Bed

"In this series, the artist is in dialogue with her printer."

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

"My kid could have done that with AI."