Gag Gift Exchange Mugs

'You know I gave up sex and booze. . .it was the toughest ten minutes of my like.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Labrador Non-retriever

Lavatory Waterfall

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

The Fart Side

Wise man scaring baby Jesus.

"Here he comes! Don't move."

'Admit it you need glasses, that is my false eyelash you have just sprayed.'

Toe-Tickling Machine