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Mitt shoots off his own feet.

Joe Binden's Secrets of Public Speaking.

What He Meant To Say...

Mitt Romney

Election Campaign Planning At Labour Central Office.

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

'I just faxed my tie to our Des Moines office.'

"I think it is most admirable," said Alice, "that you gave up a thriving law practice to be with this lovely child."

'I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message.'

Through the Looking Glass-King's Messenger in Prison

"Mmm... our situation reminds me of an Edward Lear poem..."

"My decorating style is more like 'Flung Shui'."

'You have to clean it yourself. There is no delete key.'

'It just seems like, ever since the system upgrade, nothing's where it should be.'

Break up the hard soil around plants...and do everything possible to provide moisture...

'I do wish you wouldn't use those Polish printers.'

'Now we'll try some word association.', 'Fling dorp snoogle!'

Little Things

Through the Looking Glass - Alice and Humpty Dumpty.

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

'I'm lousy at picking out gifts. Last year I gave her money, which was great until the dye-pack exploded.'

'Thus the big party.'

Big deal - give her the one from that screwball who came in last week.

"Elves, Jerry, I asked for elves."

'I wonder why we geeks don't get more women?'

The art of regifting

'Don't tell me you've lost your umbrella again!'

"Ha ha. Stop by and say hello to your mother. Ha ha, that's a good one!"

'Oh no! Burning Bushisms.'

Hunting man hits his host

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate' A guest is refused entry to the Softy-Wype toilet tissue masked ball.

"Second hand blunderbuss for sale. Used by many politicians for foot shooting."