Gadget-loving Partner Pillows

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

Haircuts

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

Mac OS 20

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

'Hey...remember T.V.?

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'Mom! This high resolution screen makes it seem like you're really outdoors!'

"Careful. That house has a taser."

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"

'This is suppose to be progress.'

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"I take back everything bad I said about AI."

It tells you the time? That's all it does? Well, isn't that just the cutest little thing?

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can b

"I now pronounce you man and wife - do you wish to save these changes?"

'You just couldn't wait to try out the new Jet Ski before we got up to the lake, could you?'

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

See? Whenever he's mad at me, he turns off his Touch ID sensor.

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

"This isn't Dublin. It's not even Ireland. Repeat after me, dear: 'I'll never buy a second-hand sat nav as a bargain again.'"

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."