Gadget Guardian Mugs

Things that go beep in the night.

"I could never go wireless."

Battered PC Shelter

Computer Crimes

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

Cat hissing at laptop computer.

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

Consumer Safety Testing Lab. Bake-it Toy Oven. We have lots of work to do --- Now get the lead out!

Internet Privacy

'Sorry...the dog ate my miniphone.'

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

"Yes, I invested in a safe and security system. I got sick and tired of our kids taking my phone chargers and losing them."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

The Computer Bore

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Google car."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

CEO with SEO

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"