Gadget Geek Laugh Gifts

"Let's take it step by step. How do I turn it on?"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Talk nerdy to me."

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

'Apparently, the next guy has invented a time machine!'

'Mom, I need a push.'

"He's been using the new virtual reality data viewer and climbing bar graphs..."

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

"So you are the data protection supervisor of the German government?"

Idiot's Guide to Programming a VCR.

"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."

Woman finds something in her soup.

Virtual Lap Dancing

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

"These EHR formats are an indecipherable headache to try and wade through. I miss the old days when the doctor's writing was all we had to figure out."

I hate getting ready for Y1K.

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

"Having bitten the apple I think we should cover our phones with fig-leaves."

iPhone Senior

"I tell you, he's up to no good. He spends hours on the dark web."

"No need to set out traps, I'm leaving. You don't have Wi-Fi in this dump."

'Every time I step on the scale Alexa uses my weight for the joke of the day.'

"Hey, it's the scouting virus! It doesn't affect your pc, it just makes you want to go camping!"

'Floppy Disk Horror Movie.'

And for a mere £49.99 you can make it fully portable, sir.

Reminder from my Telebartender. Gotta go!

"Your computer is fine. It's your brain that has a lot of useless programs on it. Unfortunately, it doesn't come with an uninstall button."

Human Resources: Due to Drones, Driverless cars, and Apps, we are not now hiring human beings...

America's Funniest Encrypted Passwords

"I just got a text from our smart garage door. It says: Oops, my bad."

The continent you have requested cannot be found.

"Look mate, I keep rebooting and nothing happens!!"