Futures Trading Gifts

"Today treasuries were down on news that bitcoin futures were up."

'I see a great future in pork bellies!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

The day the stock market went UP.

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

Wall Street Couch

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Tariff Wars

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

Why markets crash.

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!