Futures Aficionado T-Shirts

'I'm usually cautious as heck, but last Tuesday I got this hot tip on peanut futures in south Georgia...'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

The day the stock market went UP.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"What's a debenture?"

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Stock market investment advice

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

TPP - Investor State Dispute Settlement

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

The burden of carrying the Euro.

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

That Awkward Moment When You Discover That Wall Street's Insanity Is Helping You

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'There are only three things that matter in this world, son... bottom line...'

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

Economy.

'I've never seen a stock crash so hard.'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

Pulling The Economy Uphill