Future Parent Jokester Mugs

My Goodness It Looks Like Tracy Island.

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

Dad Trophies

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

Baby, baby maker

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

'She said her first words today.'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

I'd like to donate to your theater, but

Baby reading 'To do list'.

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

Beware of teething baby.

'Mom, will the baby come with bundled software?'