Future Nutrition Guru Pillows

'I'm NOT trying to break in and change my grades. I'm only trying to change the school lunch menu.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

All Natural Nothing

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Diet considerations.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Heart Disease Menu

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."